So lately, I've been wondering when i'm going to get on with preparing myself for the rest of my lifetime. Because as of right now, i feel a little left behind. I think that this year, i feel a little more motivated to do better than usual. But here's my explanation. I guess everyone has always told me that your last two years of highschool are the most important. I'm not saying that the first two years aren't, but i think i was too young to care. Though i've always known that my life was so much easier when i made good grades, i guess i never stopped to think that if i worked harder, it would make a difference. Well lately, i've been telling a lot of people that i have my mind set, and that i have goals i want to accomplish. But those who knew me when i didn't care too much, think that it's not really possible for me to care now. Honestly though, i care more than anything. And it's not all because of a boy either. I can tell you that yes, he's more than half my motivation...but it makes sense. First of all, i want to raise my grades for God, and for me. If we're only here for a short time, why not make the best of it? It's crazy that i'm not that far from college, and sure...i know i'll be struggling then too. But i know i'm going to make it. Without a doubt. No matter where i go, i know i'm going to college. So at the beginning of this year, i made a few dumb mistakes, like forgetting about homework. But i know that after it's done once, i learn. I know what i have to do to make up for it, no matter how many people tell me how big of a mistake it was, or that i'm not trying hard enough. I've reached a point where it's not about going to school to see your friends or talk about drama. I just don't care. And some people could take that the wrong way, like thinking i don't care about my grades. But really, that's just what i want to go to school for. Make the good grades, so i can get out of there. And half the time i was working so hard, it felt like the harder i tried, the more difficult it got. So i accepted the part where i may fail once before i succeed. Maybe that's just God's way of teaching me. That doesn't mean i ever gave up or didn't care. I've always cared a little more than people thought i did. So, i do have my own goals. If i want to be a nurse, that requires college. If i want to go to college, that requires caring about my grades. And i'm capable of making the good ones. I also came to the conclusion that if i could just work hard enough to make the best of them, then i could get almost everything i've been wanting for a long time. For example, a license, a car, a job, my parents will trust me and let me hang out with friends. So, i did want it before it was really a rule. I don't know if everyone actually reaches that point where you realize that this is the starting point of the rest of it all. I may be at the beginning, but there's probably many people out there who wish they could just start over. But i have a good shot, and it should be worth it. However, i'm well aware that things might not go as i hope they will. Like, i may not even want to be a nurse by the time i get to college, or i may not end up with the guy that i badly want to be with now. Both of those might hit me real hard, so i sure hope i'm prepared for a little more heartbreak if it ever comes. Ofcourse, i want to go God's way. So right now, i'm motivated to make it through highschool...and never be grounded again. I wonder how life will feel then. So if everyone didn't know already, i'm learning in multiple ways of life right now. I'm learning to keep the faith and hope, count it all joy, and even out of the stupid geometry book. There are times when i think that when i get out there and make my own life, with my own family, home, and kids..that i'll be free to make my own choices. But i believe that i can see myself asking everyone in the world for help when i get there. As long as i have God...i believe i will always be happy...Okay, i'll act annoyed sometimes too. But, i'm ready. I'm here to be a learner, a leader, and a follower.
Lifes a dance, you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don't worry about what you don't know. Lifes a dance, you learn as you go.
